Yeah, I watched it yesterday. THE documentary about Harvey Weinstein.
And for me the saddest realisation was that there was nothing surprising or shocking in a way.
That is how deep ingrained it is to beware of men with power, especially certain type of men.
I don´t pretend to know better than most or anything, but I´ve also met men who are essentially bullies and unable to see the fault in their ways, because they think they know better and thus are entitled to do whatever it takes to get there. And I don´t mean just or even mostly sexually.
When you add the sexual predatory and utter disregard of others´ limits you get the H. Weinsteins of this world. Protected by their status and forgiven in posterity for their genius.
And I´m glad, wildly happy, to see #metoo starting to cast down those gods on clay pedestals. Because I feel it is all connected to the systemic reasons that women have to do twice as much to be half as admired. Somehow acting like a monster is synonymous to being very good at what they´re doing, which frankly sucks and is untrue.
My childhood has left me with issues yes, but one thing I can be proud and happy about: My parents, neither of them, never, ever told me in words or deeds that I can´t do something because I´m a girl. Or that I´m somehow a weaker vessel, and should be protected by others.
My dad might be a chauvinist asshole in some regards, but he was always fiercely proud when I did something to break the limits of being a girl. Oh, he never said it, but a child learns to read between the lines, and the incidents he was laughing about and talking to his friends were always about me being nosey, smart ass, unruly, breaking the rules or doing things my own way.
Being comfortable in situations that could be scary for little girls.
He never told me I look beautiful, but was secretly proud when I climbed a tree and tore my trousers.
He never said anything nice about my eyes, but he told all his friends how I could harness a horse at the age of six and didn´t cry when I fell from sled full of firewood when the horse bolted.
He didn´t give a shit about what I was wearing, but when I graduated as the best of my school - no contest - he almost, almost told me he was proud of me.
I feel I´m very lucky I never had any brothers, because that might have polarized the situation.
Well, anyway. My childhood has left me with the unhealthy level of being chronically the “good guy” but in time I´ve learned to balance things and see the ridiculous in guys as much as dolls.
The most important thing I´ve learned as a one half of a very unusual friendship is never to judge a woman or an underdog before hearing their story. The ones in power I judge more harshly, because, well, I´m not aiming for sainthood and usually they are just worse than at first glance and can´t be hurt by my judgement anyway.
The thing is, I haven´t learned the culture of fear and avoidance as a way of staying safe. Yes, it could have bitten me in the ass big time when I was young, but I still want my girls to have that same fearlessness of going to places and doing things and being just a tad clueless when it comes to unwritten rules of what girls should or shouldn´t do or say. It is much harder to unlearn the fear than going places all blue-eyed and just doing what you came to do. Especially in places where the unspoken limits of being a girl are very strict I enjoy acting a Nordic Idiotesse.
As in: of course I drink vodka with the guys! I like vodka more than champange. And: Yeah, I´m walking around the mountain village in Morocco all alone and smiling and nodding to all the men and women staring. Jus´bein´ polite, y´know… Or: Of course I can go sit with the men in a party if their conversation interests me more, and I won´t be silent either. We´re all friends here, right?
The great thing is I´m fully aware of every toe I put out of line and every feather I ruffle and I enjoy it immensely.
That´s my Girl Power and my way of raising the rebellion. Maybe it makes someone actually think, that yeah, nothing exploded, she seems to be okay. So maybe these old rules aren´t needfull or good.
That is what #metoo is doing too, except the acting clueless part. It is saying out loud things that by old rules should be left unsaid. It is all about demanding to be heard and seen in full equality. And I love every moment!
I feel I´m very lucky I never had any brothers, because that might have polarized the situation.
Well, anyway. My childhood has left me with the unhealthy level of being chronically the “good guy” but in time I´ve learned to balance things and see the ridiculous in guys as much as dolls.
The most important thing I´ve learned as a one half of a very unusual friendship is never to judge a woman or an underdog before hearing their story. The ones in power I judge more harshly, because, well, I´m not aiming for sainthood and usually they are just worse than at first glance and can´t be hurt by my judgement anyway.
The thing is, I haven´t learned the culture of fear and avoidance as a way of staying safe. Yes, it could have bitten me in the ass big time when I was young, but I still want my girls to have that same fearlessness of going to places and doing things and being just a tad clueless when it comes to unwritten rules of what girls should or shouldn´t do or say. It is much harder to unlearn the fear than going places all blue-eyed and just doing what you came to do. Especially in places where the unspoken limits of being a girl are very strict I enjoy acting a Nordic Idiotesse.
As in: of course I drink vodka with the guys! I like vodka more than champange. And: Yeah, I´m walking around the mountain village in Morocco all alone and smiling and nodding to all the men and women staring. Jus´bein´ polite, y´know… Or: Of course I can go sit with the men in a party if their conversation interests me more, and I won´t be silent either. We´re all friends here, right?
The great thing is I´m fully aware of every toe I put out of line and every feather I ruffle and I enjoy it immensely.
That´s my Girl Power and my way of raising the rebellion. Maybe it makes someone actually think, that yeah, nothing exploded, she seems to be okay. So maybe these old rules aren´t needfull or good.
That is what #metoo is doing too, except the acting clueless part. It is saying out loud things that by old rules should be left unsaid. It is all about demanding to be heard and seen in full equality. And I love every moment!
